Back to School Time...

It's back to school season. I only have one class and it's on Thursdays, so I am going to have a goooood semester. I'll be up on campus as much as I can just to hang out and see everybody, especially since it's my last semester. I've already got couches in dorms lined up to bum off my friends (who are awesome btw!) and my goal is to have other residents see me so much they'll think I'm a resident too. Despite the fact that my class is larger than it should be (and may or may not contain people I'd rather have in other classes where we will not be given group assignments and my grade will not depend on their abilities), my schedule got screwed up, and I'm graduating later than I should be, I'm looking forward to spending these last few months with my friends before we all graduate in December (another perk of graduating late) and get sent off into the real world.

What Did I Do This Summer?

I was arrested for "illegal minoring"...

Learned two different dances to "Cotton Eye Joe"...

Searched for gold during the Klondike Gold Rush...

Busted some of my kids out of jail...several times...

Fixed a knee, without the use of a band-aid...(See How To Fix A Knee)

Got paid when I didn't go to work...twice!

Was transported to a secret wizarding world for two straight days...

Solved a murder at a beach resort with the aid of a Belgian detective...

Raided, pillaged, and plundered my weasley, black guts out in many towns in the Caribbean to become the number one most feared pirate...

Got all of my defendants declared "Not Guilty"...

Defeated Bowser and his minions....

Got to swim during adult swim for the first time ever...

Defeated the Elite Four and the Champion for the fourth time (Blue, Gold, Emerald, and now Pearl)...

Met up with several friends from school...


...and so much more. Despite working 45 hours a week for 7 straight weeks (I was out for a week when I hurt my foot), this has been a great summer. I wouldn't trade any of it.

How To Fix A Knee (for kids age 7 and under)

It was a rainy day and we were playing capture the flag inside (except it was called "Treasure Chest" and there were multiple flags) when one of my kids comes over to the bleachers where I'm sitting and sits down. I ask him what's up and he says that he hurt his knee (I forget how he hurt it, I think it involved someone else and the hard gym floor). So I ask if I can fix it, he says yes and moves up a row to sit next to me.

First, I had him close his eyes and keep them closed until I said to open them. Then, I asked him what color the pain was.
"Blueish, blackish, and a little yellowish" was his reply.
"Okay," I said, "Now, don't open your eyes! I'm going to wave my hands over your knee, I'm not going to touch it, then, after I count to three you're going to open your eyes, but you have to focus on that color and think about it hard while I'm doing that, okay?"
"Okay."

He squeezes his eye lids together while he's focusing on the color and I move my hands around just in case he's peeking.

"3...2...1..."
I snap my fingers and he opens his eyes. His jaw drops when he looks at his knee and doesn't see the colors he's been focusing on so hard.

"All better?" I ask.
"Yeah!" He exclaims happily.
"Now get back out there and play!"

He jumps off the bleachers and runs back to his side of the gym. When he gets there, he turns back around and gives me a big smile and wave before quickly dashing off to the opponent's side to retrieve some treasure.

I got that trick from "Full House" a show that is definitely too old for him. It comes on Nick at Night (I think) and WGN, two things he's not very likely to watch, especially if he has the Disney Channel or Cartoon Network. Even if he had seen it, it wasn't likely he had seen the episode I got it from, or if he had, he may have believed that it would work because it had worked on Michelle.

I'd been dying to try that all summer to see if it would actually work, and it did! I don't think though that any kids older than 7 or 8 would believe in it enough for it to work on them though.

Common Phrases

Here's a list of things I've said to my kids at some point this summer:

Get your hat out of the water fountain.

Don't put your pizza in your soda.

No we can't play extreme musical hula-hoops.

If you can't keep your hands to yourself, you two are going to hold hands for the rest of the day!

Put the stick down.

No rocks down the slide.

Don't "pants" him while he's on the monkey bars!

Do you need an ambulance? No? Then you're fine.

Did you really think you could fool me?


I'll add more as they come to me...